Bodyguard
by Bluebuscus
Summary: Tobuscus gets a death threat in one of his videos. Steven hires him a bodyguard named Ace Grey, who Toby finds HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, audience! This whole story (yes, this is not an oneshot) will be Toby's POV. Oh, and I know Steven isn't real, but I thought he was for such a long time I'll continue believing he is. Enjoy!**

**::BLUEBUSCUS::**

* * *

_I know where you live, Toby Joe Turner. I'm going to kill you._

I had been staring at the unsettling comment for hours. It was raining cats and dogs outside, which didn't help the creepy predicament.

It wasn't _actually _raining domesticated animals. That would be really cool, though.

I knew that YouTubers got creepy comments like this all the time, but I get scared more easily than I'd like to admit. I didn't just say that. It was an illusion. Just an illuuuuusionnnnn.

I bolted up out of my chair and began searching my home for my phone. I had to talk to Steven.

"Gah, come on! I literally _just_ set you down, phone!" I yelled, causing Gryphon to bark.

"SHUT UP, GRYPHZOR! I'm just kidding. Who's my favourite shaggy Shitzu? You are, yes you a- AHA! FOUND YOU, PHONE. Thought you could hide from the mightybuscus? THINK AGAIN!"

I dialed Steven's number in record time and held the phone to my ear with slightly trembling hands.

"Please be there, please be there, please be there.." I muttered.

"Hello?"

"STEVEN!" I literally jumped for joy.

"OW, Toby, my ear!"

I quickly lowered my voice. "Sorry, sorry, I need you to come over."

"I can't right no-"

"Fantastic! See you in a bit! Peace off."

"No, Toby-"

I hung up and ran to the door, eagerly awaiting his arrival.

Sure, he said he was busy, but no one's too busy for the Buscus!

I sat at the table, waiting. My Heely tapped out a tentative beat on the polished floor.

To ease my jitters, I whipped out my iPhone, set it on the empty seat next to me, and began recording.

"Audience, wha? What are you doing on that chair? I could've sat on you!" I began, "Right now, I'm just chillin' at a restaurant. I'm actually waiting for Steven. We need to discuss important things. Like my sideburns."

My attention was drawn to Steven entering the restaurant.

"This was probably the shortest vlog in history. OUTRO OF DARKNESS, THEN REDNESS, THEN WHITENESS! Bless your face. If you sneezed while watching this video, bless you. Peace off. BOOP!" I yelled, quickly ending the video, and getting odd stares from strangers.

"Don't mind me! Just a grown man talking to his iPhone," I assured the gawking strangers.

Steven took a seat across from me. "What was so important that you _had_ to summon me here?" he inquired.

I replied quickly. "Uh, you see, I found this comment on yesterday's vlog-"

He interrupted, saying, "The death threat, I know. I was about to talk to you about that."

I was relieved that he knew. "I know it's probably a joke, but I'm still worried," I explained.

He smiled at me through thick black glasses. "Don't worry, Toby. I have an idea.

I raised an eyebrow. "Does it involve me moving to Djibouti and changing my name to Bilbo Baggins?"

"No."

"I'm in."

He laced his fingers together. "Excellent. My plan's quite simple, really."

I leaned across the table. "What is it? Tell me, tell me!" I demanded.

"You need a bodyguard."

* * *

**I know, I know, "Blue, that was such a short chapter!" The next one will be longer, I promise. Anyway, how was it? Reviews are appreciated, but not mandatory. Chapter two will be coming soon. Peace off. BOOP!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's part two! Enjoy.**

**::BLUEBUSCUS::**

I stroked my invisible beard. "A bodyguard, huh? Sounds… AWESOME!" I yelled, startling Steven.

"Toby, keep in mind that bodyguards aren't pets."

"I know, I know. It's just.. my epicosity level will go up times a million with a bodyguard! Not that my epicosity level isn't high right now. SHUT UP, STEVEN," I said.

He stood up from the table. "Great. I'll find you a bodyguard today and send them over to your house tomorrow. See you."

"But we haven't even ordered yet," I started to complain, but he was already out the door.

I shrugged and left as well.

I plopped down on my couch, lifting Gryphzor high into the air. "Hey buddy, did you miss me?" I asked in my special Gryphon-Voice.

He sneezed in response.

Setting him down, I said to no one in particular, "I wonder what my bodyguard will be like."

_Maybe he'll be big and strong. He'll crush the heads of my opponents!_

_Or he could be like a spy. Cunning and clever._

_What if he's EZIO AUDITORE?_

A tiny voice in the back of my head piped up.

_Why are you so sure it's going to be a guy? What if it's just a girl with a pistol?_

I smiled a bit. I wouldn't mind a girl bodyguard, if you know what I mean.

I fell asleep there on the couch with thoughts of a hothothothothot bodyguard and a smile on my face.

_DING DONG._

I groaned.

_DING DONG._

I cracked one eye open. "Gryphon, go get the door."

_DING DONG._

"FINE, I'M COMING!" I yelled, picking up the remote from the coffee table and throwing it at the door.

I slowly sat up, yawning. I ran a hand through my messy locks. I probably looked like a zombie. That would be really cool.

I squinted at the nearest clock. The numbers 9:21 blazed in electronic blue light.

Who the balls would be at my door at nine in the morning?

I stretched, popping my neck. Don't ever fall asleep on a couch.

_DING DONG._

I stomped to the door. "CHILL YOUR PANTS, I'M COMI-" I froze mid-sentence as I opened the door.

Standing in front of me was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seem.

"Uh, um.." I stuttered.

_HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT._

She was small and lean, but obviously had a bit of muscle. Her dirty blonde hair hung in a messy bun, bits and pieces framing her blue eyes. Said eyes were sharp and alert, narrowed in a defying gesture. She was obviously a few years younger than me.

"Hey, you," she said suddenly.

I pointed to myself. "Me?"

"Are you 'Toby Turner'?"

I nodded slowly.

She stuck out a small hand. "I'm Ace Grey, your new bodyguard."

After inviting her in, I sent her to the couch while I made some cocoa as an apologetic gesture for making her wait out in the cold for so long.

I returned to the couch, placing one of the two steaming cups in front of her.

"Careful, it's hot," I warned.

She raised an eyebrow. "I can see the steam coming from the cup. I _know _it's hot."

I smiled. "So, uh, Ace, how exactly did _you _become a bodyguard?" I asked.

I mean, she was so small. How could she possibly protect me?

She angrily narrowed her eyes and frowned. "What, I'm small, so I can't be strong? Let me assure you, _Toby_," she poked my chest, "I'm plenty strong. I could take you down in a second!"

"Sorry, sorry, no need to get snappy," I defended.

She narrowed her eyes once again, probably to detect lies, but gave up and sighed.

"Sorry for yelling at you," she said quietly.

I waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine. How's lunch sound? I know this great Italian restaurant right down the street," I offered.

She quickly resumed her rebellious attitude. "Whatever."

As soon as we were seated, she eyed the menu in wonder.

I leaned over. "Don't know what to get?"

She huffed, crossing her arms. "Not a clue. Back at the BTF we only got stale potato soup and a glass of water."

"'BTF'?"

"Bodyguard Training Facility."

I nodded. "Oh. Well, the ravioli is fantastic here. It's what I always get," I offered.

"If _you _like it, it's gotta be gross," she pretended to gag.

I laughed. "If you'd like, you could just get bread."

"Because bread is _so _filling."

_This girl is full of sarcasm._

"You could order a whole lot of bread," I tried.

She lowered her voice to what was supposed to be a mock man voice. "'Yes, I'll have 3,678 orders of bread, thank you'."

I punched her shoulder playfully. "Alright, smart aleck, what do you want, then? The waiter will be here any second."

She waved a hand. "I'll go with the bread. Instead of 3,678 orders, three should be fine."

As if on cue, a waiter with a very fluffy-looking mustache appeared.

I suddenly got an idea. Whipping out my iPhone, I pointed it at the menu. "Audience, wha? What are you doing staring at the menu? Do you want anything to eat? …What was that? Oh, okay."

Ace stared at me as if I was insane, as did the mustachioed waiter.

I turned my attention to the waiter. "Yes, I'd like one order of the parmesan ravioli. She," I pointed to Ace, "would like three orders of bread. And they," I pointed to my iPhone, "would like 3,678 orders of bread," I winked at Ace.

"Wait, what was that?" I lowered my ear to my audience, "You don't want it anymore? Fine," I redirected my attention to the waiter, "Forget the 3,678 orders of bread."

Mustache-Man nodded and walked off, muttering something about "kids these days".

"Geez, audience, you sure are picky. Anyway, I have an important announcement to make," I said seriously to my iPhone, "Steven got me a bodyguard!" I cried happily, turning the phone to Ace.

"Say hi, Acebuscus!"

She looked bewildered. "Acebuscus? What's an Acebusc-"

I cut her off. "Ace here will be keeping me safe from any bad guys. SHE GON' KICK SOME BOOTAY, GURL, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT."

I continued vlogging, admiring the 'flowerth' on the table and whatnot, and asked Ace to do my outro.

"What's that?" she asked.

I laughed. "She has so much to learn." I told the audience.

"Put your finger on the lens," I commanded.

She complied halfheartedly as I yelled, "OUTRO OF DARKNESS THEN REDNESS THEN WHITENESS THEN BOOP!" ending the video.

"What was that all about?" she asked, still looking shocked.

"I do videos on YouTube. I play games and vlog daily. You were just in today's vlog, congratulations! ..You'll get used to it," I explained.

The waiter brought us our food, and we ate in silence, exchanging glances.

That was when we heard the gunshots.

**I think that was a decent place to end off, don't you? Peace off. BOOP!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter three! I'm actually really unsure where I'm going with this fic, so if there's anything you're dying to see, leave a review and I'll do my best.**

Three gunshots resonated through the small restaurant, and then all the lights went out.

I heard screaming and crying, and began to fear for my life.

_What if it's the person who posted that comment?_

I felt someone push me down, under the table, making me jump.

"Calm down, it's just me."

Oh, it was Ace, thank God.

"Stay here and keep quiet. I'll tell you when you can come out," she said, not bothering to keep her voice down.

I grasped around in the dark, trying to find her sleeve. "What about you? You're not actually going out there, are you?"

"I have to, it's my job. I've been itching for a good fight, anyway."

Then she was gone. I stayed put as she commanded and tried not to worry.

_She's a professional bodyguard. She'll be fine._

I heard thumps, "oof!"s, groans, and "ow"s. Then silence.

I held my breath, hoping Ace was okay.

"Alright, Toby, you can come out."

I sighed in relief and slowly crawled out from under the table as someone turned the lights back on.

Ace stood before me, one foot on a darkly dressed man, with a cocky smile.

"Whoa! How'd you do that?" I asked, astonished.

She winked. "Secret."

"Seriously, teach me how to do that!" I insisted.

She shook her head. "No way. A pansy like you could never learn."

I crawled over to her and clung to her leg. "Teach me, pleeeeeeeease."

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeease."

"No."

I put on my best Gryphon eyes. "Please."

"Nooooo, not the puppy eyes! My only weakness!" she cried mockingly.

I pouted. "No need to be rude about it."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Let's scram 'fore the police get here." she suggested, extending a hand.

I took it, and she hoisted me up quickly with a firm grip.

_She's strong! And hothothothot. The best combination._

We took our leave of the restaurant, and began making our way down the sidewalk.

Police sirens wailed in the background. We exchanged a knowing glance, and then burst into laughter.

"Anyway, lunch didn't go quite as expected, so I want to make it up to you," I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

She kicked a rock out of her path and replied, "Dang straight it didn't go as expected."

My eyes widened in surprise. I was kind of expecting something more along the lines of, "_Oh, lunch was fantastic, O Great Lord Tobuscus. You are so very handsome. Let's go home and make out._"

"What?"

"I was expecting that gunman to put up more of a fight!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.

"Shouldn't you be glad that the gunman was wimpy?"

"No way. It's been ages since I've had a good fight. I really had a lot of expectations for that gunman, and he turned out to be a giant wuss," she pouted, kicking another rock.

"Well, that's another reason to make it up to you," I improvised, "there's this great ice cream place just up the road. Look, you can see it if you squint real hard," I pointed to the small building.

The rebel shoved her hands into her pockets. "I've never had ice cream before.."

I pretended to spit-take. "YOU'VE NEVER HAD ICE CREAM?" I yelled, attracting unnecessary attention from other pedestrians, "Gurl, we gonn' get choo some."

She smiled at my ghetto accent, but tried to cover it as a cough. Didn't fool me.

_YES! She thinks I'm funny!_

"I've always wanted to try it, so.. alright," she agreed.

I noticed her shiver, and realised just how cold it was outside. Not to mention she was wearing a t-shirt.

"Are you cold? Here, take my hoodie," I trailed off, pulling off my Tobuscus hoodie.

Ace held up her hands. "No, I'm fi-"

Before she could protest, I managed to get the hoodie over her head. I took a step back to admire the view.

The blue hoodie was large on her, hanging off one shoulder. It was long enough to reach her knees, and it looked kind of silly with her baggy cameo jeans.

I grinned in satisfaction. "Perfect."

It might've been in my imagination, but I could've sworn she was blushing.

"You didn't have to do that. _I'm _supposed to be looking after _you_," she muttered.

"I don't think it'll kill you to share the burden of guarding my life."

I looked up, and noticed that we were already in front of the ice cream place. "I scream for ice cream!" I yelled. More like _screamed_. Get it?

I opened the door, and bowed. "Ladies first."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah," she said, taking my spot by the door, "ladies first."

Pouting, I walked into the small shop.

"Aw, don't be such a pansy. I still have to look out for you, even if we're now sharing the burden of your life."

I smiled, and without thinking, leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

She made a surprised noise, kind of like a squeak, and turned bright red. Her hand shot up to her cheek.

Devious ideas began infiltrating my head, and I grinned mischievously. "What are you standing around for?" I asked, cocking my head, "Let's get up and order, gurl!"

**Oooh, Toby has an ideaaaa. That means I have an idea. Said idea shall be cunning and devious. Chapter four will be on its way!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is kind of a filler chapter. Okay, so, pretty much all of this chapter is going to sound dirty. I really tried to keep it G-rated, but I think I failed. Anyway, enjoy!**

**::BLUEBUSCUS::**

My plan seemed flawless at the time, but as we ordered our ice cream, I was having some second thoughts.

_What if something goes so horribly wrong, making her leave?_

"Sir," the lady at the counter startled me out of my thoughts, "what will you be ordering?"

I peered at the list of flavours. "Ace, what do you want?"

"I don't know, I've never had ice cream before, remember?" she rolled her eyes, a hint of red still staining her cheeks, "I'll just have what you have."

I nodded. "Right, we'll have two double-scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough…"

I turned to Ace. "Cone or cup?"

"What?"

"Do you want your ice cream in a cone or a cup?"

"Oh.. cone, I guess."

I turned back to the lady at the counter. "Both in a cone," I concluded our order.

She busied herself with making our ice cream, giving me the opportunity to talk to Ace.

"Trust me; you're going to love it. Cookie dough's the best flavor! Even though it could potentially give us salmonella," I whispered the salmonella bit. No need to worry her.

The lady handed over our ice cream.

"YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!" I said loudly.

I paid the woman, and we began walking back outside.

"THANKS FOR THE ICE CREAM, GURL!" I yelled as I closed the door.

Ace stifled a giggle. "You're such a weirdo."

I grinned. "But I'm a cool weirdo, right?"

"Maybe."

She stared at the cone in her hands. "Uh, how exactly do I eat it?"

I hadn't thought of that.

"Oh, well, you just lick it," I explained slowly, trying not to make it sound dirty.

She brought the cone to her mouth and gave it a tentative lick. Instantly, her eyes lit up. "This _is _good," she murmured.

"I told you!" I said, laughing, "C'mon, let's head back to the house."

As we started walking, I kept an eye on her, waiting for the perfect opportunity to put my plan into play.

It was actually very amusing watching her attempt to eat the ice cream. Even though it was cold outside, the ice cream kept melting and running down the cone. She'd frown and try to lick it off, only to discover that it was melting on the other side as well.

"C'mere, you.." she muttered.

I quickly finished my ice cream, and was moving on to the cone. I took a big bite out of the crunchy cone.

She looked at me like I was nuts. "You can _eat _that part?" she asked, astonished.

I nodded, tilting the cone towards her, "Try some."

Her cute blush returned, and she hesitantly leaned forward to take a small bite out of the cone.

"That part tastes good, too," she said in awe.

I nodded once again, and bit the cone where she did, enjoying the indirect kiss.

Another glance in her direction informed me that she had gotten some ice cream around her mouth.

_Brilliant! It's time for my plan to come into play._

"You got a little something.." I trailed off, gesturing to her face.

"Really? Where?" she asked, crossing her eyes, trying to find the runaway ice cream.

"There," I pointed to her lip again, hoping she didn't wipe it off. If she did, my plan would be a failure.

"I can't find it!" she cried, "Get it off!"

I tried not to grin. "Alright, alright, hold still."

I leaned forward until I was mere centimeters away from her face.

Her blush was very prominent now.

I reached up, and wiped the ice cream away with my finger. "Got it," I whispered.

Her face was beet red. "Uh, um.. th-thanks," she stuttered, looking down.

_Mission accomplished._

_You fool; it wasn't a mission, it was a plan!_

_Same thing._

The voices in my head battled it out while a triumphant grin spread across my face. "Anytime."

**You were expecting a kiss, weren't you? Don't lie, I know you were. All in due time, audience, all in due time. Thanks for reading. Peace off. BOOP!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hegtsjdvhu sorry guys, I just started school so things are kinda hectic. It's my first year at the high school anD I SWEAR THE SENIORS WERE LAUGHING AT ME WHEN I WAS ALL LOST AND STUFF. But I can't believe you guys wanted me to continue O.O I really expected "UGH, make it stoppp!" reviews. Here's chapter five!**

…...

After my genius plan worked perfectly, we quickly arrived at Fortbuscus.

I was trying to fish the house key out of my pocket, when…

"Uh oh."

Her eyes widened fearfully. "Uh oh?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Yeah, uh oh.. I left the keys inside."

"You're joking."

"I'm most certainly not."

She sighed. "I can open it, but I don't think you'll like it."

"Really? How?"

"I can kick it open. Like, off the hinges."

I took a seat on the steps in front of the doorway and closed my eyes, thinking it over.

_IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF SHE KICKED IT OPEN. IMAGINE HOW COOL THAT WOULD BE. LET HER DO IT._

_No, don't let her do it! Sure, you'd get to see her kick open a door, but you'd also get stuck with quite the fee to replace said door._

I groaned. I wanted her to kick open the door, but I didn't.

Cracking open an eye; I snuck a peek at the feisty bodyguard. She was still standing there, tapping her boot on the concrete impatiently. "Well?"

"I.. I don't think it's a good idea," I said slowly.

_NOOOOOOOOO, YOU IMBECILE._

_Good choice._

She nodded. "Alright, but we still have to find another way inside.. does anyone else have a key?"

"I don't think s- wait! Olga does!" I exclaimed, remembering giving her a key a few years back, when we were dating.

A hint of - what was that? Jealousy? - flashed across her face for a split-second. "Olga?"

"Yeah, Olga," I replied, taking out my phone, "I think she's in town.."

I dialed the number quickly, and held the phone to my ear. I watched Ace for any more signs of possible jealousy, but she had resumed an I-don't-give-a-shit-what-anyone-thinks smirk.

"_Hello? This is Olga._" a not-so-thick-anymore Russian accent jolted me from my observing.

"Hey, it's me, Toby."

"_Toby! To what do I owe the pleasure?_"

"Uh, I kind of left my key in my house.. do you still have the spare I gave you?"

"_Of course! I'll be over in a few minutes! Mwah!_" she made a sloppy kissing noise as she abruptly hung up.

Immediately, fear surged through my mind. Why did she "mwah"? Is it just a girl thing, or did she still like me?

I cast a worried glance at Ace. "She said she'll be over in a bit.."

I didn't want her to get in the way of my plan to win Ace's heart. Sure, she's a sweet girl, but she's just a friend! It didn't work out the first time; what makes her think second time's a charm?

Maybe I was overthinking.

Maybe not.

_UGH, why are girls so confusing?_

Ace took a seat next to me on the steps, resting her head on her palms. "I don't like waiting," she stated bluntly.

I smiled. "Well, we could play a game while we wait," I suggested.

Her eyebrow arched. "What kind of game?"

A million really dirty thoughts invaded my mind.

_No, no, no, stop it, brain. Stop it. Wait, that one's not that ba- what am I thinking? No. Ew, stop._

"How aboooout… tag?"

"Tag? What's that?"

I gasped louder than I needed to. "You've never played tag? Well, it's kind of like thi- TAG, YOU'RE IT!" I shouted, hitting her shoulder and dashing away as fast as I could.

She seemed to catch on, and raced after me. All I can say is; _man, she's fast. _Every time I took a step, she seemed to take three.

After thirty seconds of sprinting around Fortbuscus and getting nasty looks from snooty neighbours, I was pooped.

I stopped in the front yard and promptly face-planted into the grass, panting heavily.

A second later, she prodded my back with her boot. "You dead? 'Cause if you are, I'm in some deep shit."

I remained still and silent, trying to keep my breathing as quiet as possible.

"Seriously, stop messing with me, Toby," this time her voice was laced with worry.

_Awww, she was worried about me?_

I stayed motionless a few seconds more before suddenly reaching up, grabbing her foot, and taking her down with me.

She let out a girly squeak as she fell onto me. "Toby!" she scolded, sitting up, "You scared me."

I would've laughed, but my brain was completely muddled.

_SHE'SSITTINGONMYLAPSHE'SSITTINGONMYLAPSHE'SSITTINGONMYLAP._

"Uh.. um.." I stuttered, probably sounding mentally handicapped.

Her face was literally centimeters from mine, and I was basically brain-dead. All I could do was gape like a fish and stare at her large blue eyes.

Of course, she seemed to be affected too. She had lost the cocky smirk and the raised eyebrows, and now seemed fascinated and shy.

"I think I'm going to kiss you now," I mumbled.

"I think that's okay."

…

**CLIFFHANGER! I've always wanted to do that. I should get another chapter up tomorrow. I love reviews, by the way. I love you all. Peace off. BOOP!**


End file.
